Sonntag, 18. Dezember 2016

one month in America

Hello peeps,
as you might recognized, I haven´t written anything in the last time... and a lot of stuff happened! It´s just me, not getting the first posts ready and then all the other stuff, I wanted to stell you has build up into a huge pile and now I´m just making a litte cut, telling you some bits and bobs, from what I can remember right now and then we will just carry on with all the current experiences, feelings and problems. Sounds good? I think so.

time feeling:
How does one month in America feel like?
It is kind of difficult to explain that... on the one side, I can´t believe one month is already gone and just eleven are left! But on the other side, it feels like a lifetime for me! I have made so many unforgettable experiences, I met this amazing family and I am in the blimming USA!!
When I think of my best friend, it feels like I haven´t seen her in a year and it was just a month.. so that´s kind of strange.

It is incredible to me, how much you can love a child. I mean, I know that, because I love my little brother so much, I can´t even put it in words, but he is my brother. And know I feel pretty much the same for this little beautiful girl. And I would have never thought I could love another child as much as my brother!

As you may know from previous posts, I had some problems with Jacky... I wrote a little bit about how I felt in the second week, so here it is:

to be I had a little bit of a cry because of jack.
Yesterday evening we had like a family circle, where we talked about behavior and my new role in the family and I had such high hopes, it would work now (at least a bit  better) .. but today I actually tried to help him, when he was fighting with his brother again and he just responded You are not helping me at all! I don´t know what it was, maybe that it came unexpected and smashed my hopes or because I´m about to get ill and feel a bit weak anyway.. however tears came up and I just went down, sitting on the stairs and having a bit of a cry.

You can see, it wasn´t particularly great dealing with Jack and his pushing-away-attitude. I was really worried at that point, because I did´t knew if it will work out with him and I was horrified of the thought of having to deal with that for a year or longer, or that the family decides it´s not working I they want a rematch.
However, I briefed myself for the next hard weeks and don´t asks me how, but we turned around! It makes me so happy seeing him happy and not upset all the time and now everything is so much easier for me, just because we are at a point now, where I know he generally likes me and that is our base. Long story short, I think we are at a good place now.

To me it feels like we had a pretty good relationship right from the beginning and it continued being good. He is such a sweet and smart kid! I recognized, he has a lot of homework for a nine year old - and I always feel sorry for him when he gets frustrated, because we need so long to do them every day. That´s more or less the only time he is difficult to handle, because I can kind of understand him, but I have to keep him motivated and concentrated at the same time...


Especially during the last week I had such a strong feeling of overwhelming love for this family, for every member of this family and I was every single day so grateful to be here and be able to spend my time with such wonderful persons.
I often think That is my life. Right now, this moment, what I am doing right know is my life! And I always keep in mind, that I am the only person, who can decide in which direction my life is going! If there is something I am unsatisfied with than I am the one, who has to change it. That is something I really learned over the past couple of years and do you know what a good feeling it is to think that and then realizing that you made a great decision  for your life, because you are happy and there is nothing you would change? That´s how I feel right know, I know in my heart that this here is the best thing that could happen to me, at this point of my life!
I enjoy it so much to be an adult and to be treated like an adult! At home I will always stay a child in the eyes of my parents or siblings, but here I am just me. I don´t have to fit any role and I am still discovering myself from day to day.

There are a lot more things going on,  just saying College, Thanksgiving, Christmas .... but I think this post is long enough for now and I will talk about everything else when I feel like it or something new happens. For now I am just happy to be more or less up to date on this blog and from now on I can write way more regular and can enjoy it way more.

Last thing: I´m planning on making a Q&A video on my YouTube channel, so if you have any questions about my experiences so far or the AuPair life in general, just let me know in the comments.

Have a great day,
XOXO Johanna

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