Freitag, 23. Dezember 2016

first day of winter break ....

Oh yeay, it is the first day of winter break! That means no school or daycare, all kids at home and a loooot of time. No, but I imagined it to be super nice today, the boys would be happy to stay at home, everybody is relaxed and nice and you can feel the christmas spirit as there are only a few days to go until Christmas morning.
Little reality check:
"Relaxing" equals screen time and every time I want the boys to look or speak with me, I have to ask them two times before they even notice.
However, I have the feeling today was an important day for me, because I am really unsatisfied with how things have went and looking back at it I reacted the way I did because of my emotions and not so much because of rational thinking.
There was this one situation with Jack: after a whole day more or less struggling to be a good listener and cooperating, he said something really really rude and disrespectful to me and it really hit a wound of me, so I felt attacked and reacted way to emotional with snapping his iPad right out of his hands and then he started crying and being even more offensive.. basically a circle, where things get worse and worse. Looking back, I think it was right to take away his electronics for this behavior, but the way I did it was just wrong and triggered his bad reactions. And also, I sometimes forget that he´s just a six year old and I am an adult. Just thinking back makes me cringing, because I did´t stayed calm and it seems so obvious that this would´t be the right reaction, but in this moment I just hadn´t had myself together. That´s just how it is.
But maybe it is good now, because it will definitely help me in the future to take a deep breath, remembering I am the adult and he is a child and not reacting as if he is on my level and he means what he says.

I am not even sure if anything I wrote makes sense, but it is late in the evening and I am sitting in bed, munching some Reese´s and thinking about the day. Therefore I am aware of the fact, this isn´t one of my greatest posts.

However, Merry Christmas to You
XOXO Johanna

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